Have you ever found yourself sitting on the phone with your homegirl, telling her about a guy you've been crushing on, trying to figure out if he likes you are not? The conversation usually goes like this "Girl, did you see ____. Do you think he likes me? He poured me some punch at the desert table today...." To which your homegirl replies "girl, he poured punch for everybody". Now that one might seem a little obvious, but what about the conversation that goes like this, "Girl, I don't know if ____has feelings for me or not. We always hang out together, stay up late talking on the phone, and I even cook for him sometimes. Should I ask him where we stand?". Before some of you start saying "that aint me. I can hang out with a guy without thinking anything more than what it is". Honey, when you like a man, I mean REALLY like him, if he scratches his head you hope that, that is a sign of him expressing his love for you. So many of us have had a man lead us on, only to feed his own ego as he fulfils his need to be desired by multiple women.
Not to despair though ladies, I know how you feel and I have a solution. After being lead on, heart broken and deceived in my past I have realized that I don't have time to figure out if you like me romantically, because I like me. I have also realized when a man likes/loves you HE WILL MAKE IT KNOWN. When a man likes/loves you, even if you can't see it the rest of the whole world can see it. He will most likely tell you his feelings to your face, or he will tell somebody else that is close to you. I have told my friends in the past, male and female, you should never have to coax someone into being in a relationship with you, to love you, or give them ultimatums.....why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who you had to convince to like/love you? Do you happen to be in a situation where a person is leading you on, making you feel like they really like you, but when you present your feelings to them, they say "I'm just not ready to be in a committed relationship"? Understand that, that is cool if they admit that they are not ready for a committed relationship, but they should also understand "no we will not be going to the movies together solo, no I will not be cooking food for you, or staying up until 3am on the phone talking to you". You might be saying "Why so harsh Kara, he's still a good friend?" , my response to that is "HE IS BLOCKING" point blank and period(Let me also slide in here that this EXCLUDES people who have expressed mutual interest, and are "friends" trying to get to know each other with a possible future relationship in mind). What I mean by "blocking" is that he may be standing in the way of someone out there who IS ready to be in a relationship with you, but that person may think that you are already in a relationship with Mr "I'm not ready to be committed". Can you still be friends? Sure, with limitations, and if you are not looking for a relationship and you are just fine with hanging out 24/7 LIKE your in a relationship, by all means do your thing girl.
Finally, as I always say, I have been in plenty of situation where I have liked someone and the feelings were not reciprocated. It hurts, and I am not going to tell you to brush away your feelings for them because I know it isn' t easy, but please try your best not to give them so much of your mental energy. They may not have feelings for you the same way you have for them, but trust and believe SOMEBODY will love you, in fact somebody does love you and that's Jesus. I know it sounds corny, but a person's love for you should be a reflection of God's love for you (which is unconditional), and when you start focusing your energy on Jesus, only those who love Him too can reflect His love. Everyday when you get up in the morning, put your hand on your chest and say "I deserve to be loved"......Just a word of advice.
No comments:
Post a Comment