The Truth About Sex

Now this is a subject that for some odd reason seems to be "taboo" among Christians. Most of us that grew up in church were given a very vague understanding of sex, and told simply "don't get pregnant outside marriage". Sadly, most parents get uncomfortable when talking about it and just hope that their kids won't think about sex until they are old enough to move out on their own. There are usually only 2 perspectives from which we learn about our sexuality, from a Christian perspective or from a worldly perspective, and unfortunately, especially in the black community, the latter of the two is usually the first that we are taught ( in detail). Yes, for Christians we know that you should not have sex outside of marriage because it sinful.....that's all we get....no explanation...just don't do it and you'll be on God's good side. Now imagine yourself again as a young teen, hormones raging, and someone tells you "just don't get pregnant or get someone pregnant" or "the bible says sex outside of marriage is a sin". As much as some parents thought that, that would scare their children into keeping their virginity, it only made most of us more curious. The worst part about it, is that there is MUCH more from the biblical perspective that we were not told, and I hope in this article I can break it down.

I am not a doctor or a biblical scholar, but I have come to learn some things that I wish they taught us in church.  Thankfully, I came from a home where my mother was mature enough to discuss sex with me from a Godly perspective without reservation. Although, I felt I was solid in my understanding, sex outside of marriage was much more serious than I thought.

Think about the Old Testament, and how God sealed covenants with man. Many of the covenants made in the bible where sealed with blood, including the crucifixion of Jesus with his blood being shed. There a various verses in the bible that you can look up to help you understand my point (Ex. 24:6-8, Zech. 9:9-11, Luke 22:20, Hebrews 9:16-22). What happened when Jesus died on the cross? His blood was shed, thus reconciling us to our father in heaven and creating a blood covenant. I am assuming that most people reading this are over the age of 18, so I am going to be graphic. When a man enters a woman for the first time sexually he breaks the hymen...and then what happens? Blood is shed and thus.... a covenant is made. You and that person have now become one flesh and your soul becomes intertwined. Marriage actually does not happen at the altar as some of us may believe, but it happens when you both have sex, (although that does not mean you and your boo can skip the altar. Nice try, but verbally vowing in front of witnesses is just as important. Jesus needed witnesses for His death, burial and resurrection). Sometimes we fail to realize the deep spiritual connection to the things we do, because we don't see immediate physical consequences. The devil works hard to keep our minds distracted from the very serious danger that goes far beyond getting pregnant or catching an STD. When you have allowed someone to enter one of the most ssacred places of your body, you are lessening its value, and you have now connected yourself to that person for life. LET ME ADD that if you have already lost your virginity, God is a forgiving God and you can still be restored. Don't let your past decisions haunt you for the rest of your life, and don't let ANYBODY hang it over your head. The Bible says "If any man be in Christ he is a NEW creature" meaning your old self is dead and gone and miles away in the sea of forgetfulness.

This article was not meant to guilt trip anyone, but simply to help you consider the importance of making a commitment to stay celibate until marriage. In a moment when you should be enjoying your (sexual) time with your mate, you should not have to spend time crossing your fingers that you won't get pregnant, or having to deal with heartbreak because you realized he is using you. Not to say these things cannot happen in marriage, but if you marry the right person the feeling of love, respect and honor go far beyond the physical. Let's be intentional about guarding one of the most precious gifts we have for the one we love.....Just a word of advice.