What I call "complexion racism" is an age old problem that I wish would just go away. It is the belief that somehow light complexion black women are more beautiful, or enjoy a better life than dark skinned black women. The reason why I used the term "black women" is because this is not only a problem among African Americans, but of women of African decent around the world. How is it that a young girl, barely old enough to read can think she is ugly because her skin is dark? Simple, the first place that most of us are educated and given a world view is in the home. My grandmother was scorned as a child; hated for her dark complexion. She once told me that they would say "if your light, you're alright. If you're brown, stick around. If you're black, go back!" HOW AWFUL IS THAT! As if when God created you he struck you with this dark complexion as a punishment. Instead of fighting against this terrible idea of complexion, she accepted it, and in turn passed it down to the generation after her the idea that the lighter you are, the better chances in life you get.
As a child, I struggled with my complexion. I believed I was beautiful, but it became very clear early on that the guys in my neighborhood and at my church were not too fond of dark complexion females. For me, some guys gave me a "pass" because I was considered a "brownin'" which I suppose was acceptable. I didn't realize at that time that I was participating in my own self-hatred by bleaching my skin to remain as they call it, a "brownin". I was so obsessed with my skin color that I created a LIE in my mind that guys would like me more if I was lighter. Though I would act as though I was so "pro-black" and "down for the movement", I was subconciously as ignorant as they were (don't judge me for bleaching my skin, Fair & White, Palmers and Fashion Fair's Vantex wouldn't still be in business if thousands, if not millions of black women were not using it.).
On the other side of it, many light complexion black people also feel the affects of complexion racism. People of a lighter complexion sometimes struggle with not being accepted as a "real" black person, and find it hard to identify with their own race. depending on their facial features and grade of hair they sometimes are mistaken for another race and teased with name calling like "light bright" or "house nigga".
At the end of the day, it all starts with loving yourself, no matter how light or how dark you are. God didn't make a mistake on you, He didn't say "oops, left that one in the oven too long, or oops that one didn't stay in long enough" He made you a BEAUTIFUL masterpiece. I have seen plenty of dark skined women that are married to HANDSOME men (Michelle Obama) and are successful. I have also seen plenty of light complexion women (Rosa Parks) who have also changed this world for the better. The reason why you may not get any "love" is not because of your complexion, it is because you have convinced yourself that nobody will love you, and you are the source of your own hatred.
I challenge you today, to look yourself in the mirror and I don't care what color your are, how big or small your nose is, how full or thin your lips may be, tell yourself "I am so beautiful, I am the princess of the most High God. I love me and He loves me too".....just a word of advice.
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