Most of you are probably not going to like what I'm going to say, heck, I sometimes don't want to like what I'm going to say, but if you truly want to be free from the wrong that people have done to you, keep reading....
Some of us have been hurt, heartbroken and betrayed by a variety of relationships in our lives, whether its a friendship relationship, romantic relationship or family relationship, someone at some point in our lives has done something to hurt us. I know you may be secretly hoping that I will say "take revenge, pour sugar in his/her tank, key their car or cut them off and never speak to them again" but the cure for some of your WORST heartaches and even light ones, is using the "F" word, yes you guessed it Forgiveness.
When I was in college my first roommate and I did NOT get along (to say the least). One day all that anger built up inside boiled over, and turned out in an ALL OUT BRAWL. We were heated, ugly words that I wish I had never said were exchanged, and she threatened to press charges on me(anyone who knows me, knows I'm a lover not a fighter). Eventually, I decided to move out and after that (even though we were in the same choir) we wouldn't say two words to each other. Being a Christian, I was convicted. I felt like it was hypocritical of me to be singing all these worship songs and have a beef with somebody. I realized that out of ALL the things that I did in my life that seemed embarassingly terrible, God still forgave me and loved me. She also, rededicated her life to the Lord a few weeks after our fight, and even though we weren't the best of friends at first, we decided to be cordial to each other. Soon, it went from "hi" to "hey how are you" and then to hanging out everyday and going to the gym together. Not only did we forgive each other, but she asked me to be her maid-of-honor in her wedding! Though after I graduated we lost touch, I still consider her a dear friend. and its an example of the power of forgiveness.
This story is not to say that everyone you forgive is meant to be your very best friend, but there are some things in life you just have to let go of, not for their sake, but for yours. The freedom you have when you are able to let things go is EXTRORDINARY. I know it is not easy, some of you are victims of abuse and other horrible things that were much worse than my situation, but you know what happens when you hold on to that stuff? it ruines YOUR life, and the person that did you wrong gets to enjoy the fulness of life not even thinking about you. DONT LET THEM HAVE THE SATISFACTION. This has yet to be proven, but I believe forgiveness will lead to a longer, happier life.
My father and mother's marriage unfortunately ended on the brink of my teenage-hood, a time where a female needs male guidance the most. This unfortunate occurance could have ruined me, causing me to become the unfortunate stereotype of the young fatherless female. I chose not to feel sorry for myself or start singing the "woe is me" song. God said He would be the father to the fatherless, and I decided to take Him up on His offer. Years ago, I was mad at my father, but I chose to forgive and allow myself not to be trapped in the dungeon of unforgiveness.
Even in spousal relationships, I believe unforgiveness is the biggest cause of divorce. For some reason in a romantic relationship we always forget that we are just as imperfect as the other person (in some cases it leans heavy on one side, but lets not go there for now). As much as you want someone to let go of some terrible thing you did, have mercy and return the favor, even if it's not reciprocated.
Make an effort to forgive, and understand that it is not always an overnight thing, but at least you can start the healing process for a broken heart......just a word of advice
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