LORD, SEND ME MY BOAZ!

Now I know some of you have prayed that prayer, even those of you who try to act like you're so tuff, and "don't need no man!". Some of us have been waiting a few years and I know it seems like he is nowhere in sight! Can I share something with you? I know how you feel! More importantly God knows how you feel.

When I was getting ready to start my freshman year at Liberty University(a Christian School), I was SURE I was going to meet my Boaz. There is no way that I could go to this school FULL of young handsome Christian men and not meet anyone. In my Freshman year.....I didn't meet anybody. I thought to myself, "well maybe because I'm new and just getting adjusted". In my sophomore year......nobody. I thought "maybe I've been too focused and need to get out in the social scene".In my junior year....NOBODY. I said "Am I ugly, I mean I bathe everyday and groom myself". Finally in my senior year I pannicked, HUGE MISTAKE ladies! Don't do anything out of fear, or you will live to regret it, (Tyrone down the street that has been trying to get with you for months IS NOT WORTH IT). I decided to date a guy that I thought was handsome and loved the Lord, but I knew that when I asked the Lord, I heard a big loud NO! Boyyyy, was that a heartache, not only for me, but for him. We got involved only to seperate once the year was over. After 4 years of college, I left Liberty University empty handed. After that experience I realized that it may be that God was "blocking" that whole time, maybe because He had a greater plan for me.

Ladies, I know some of you are saying "girl please, you were so young and I am pushing 40, 50 or even 60" but pay attention to the awesome things God is doing in your life because He sees what you can't see, and he may be protecting you from a WORLD of trouble. As much as I encourage you to be patient and wait on God, I have to keep it real and explain some things I think might be prolonging your wait.

First thing, STOP BEING THIRSTY. If you don't know what that means, in more correct terms it means desperate. I used to be #1 at being a DESERT type of thirsty, and it got me nowhere! Here are some ways to determine if you are thirsty: If you are the type of woman that scans the room everytime you walk in, overdress for casual events, have all your "goodies" on display, stand up and talk forever to a guy you like, especially when you see he is in a rush, YOU MIGHT BE THIRSTY.  Secondly, prepare yourself to be a wife. Practice keeping your house clean and learn to cook a "lil' sum sum", even if you don't believe in traditional roles it doesn't hurt. Don't think that once you are married these skills will magically appear. Third, maintain your natural beauty. As I have said in my previous article "Being Saved is NOT and Excuse to Look Raggedy", make sure you look presentable. Fourth, be open minded within the realms of Christianity. He may not be what you think is your type at first, but you could be passing up your future mate and best friend. Get over minor things like, his hight, skin complexion and other ridiculous stuff I have heard women overlook a guy for. Finally, SEEK GOD first ladies. Nothing is more attractive on both sides, male and female, to see an individual who is about God's business, and doesn't have time to sit in a corner and re-apply their lip gloss 500 times hoping they will get noticed.

God has a different plan for all of us, and maybe you have been doing the best you can. I pray that God opens the door for that right person for you, and that you will soon meet your "Boaz". In the meantime Don't try to do God's job. Almost 4 years out of college, the Lord brought a wonderful man of God in my life, and I am so glad that He didn't allow me to have my way. Do your thing, and don't be fretful about the lack of romance in your life. Take yourself out on dates, treat yourself to a good time, I did. When you learn how to love yourself and enjoy your own company, your Boaz might be right around the corner....just a word of advice

Being Saved is NOT an Excuse to Look RAGGEDY!

To my saved, sanctified and holy fellow ladies, I have a bone to pick with you. I understand you love the Lord with all your heart and you don't care about who is and who isn't looking at you, but PULEEZE put yourself together like you live somewhere, Mr.brush and Mrs.comb never did anything to hurt nobody!

I know that you may not have a lot of money, maybe you can't afford to go to the hairstylist and get your hair fried, died and layed to the side, but in your best efforts please look like Jesus changed your life for the better. If you can't see a stylist, but you got some skills, work it out or slap a cute wig on, and call it a DAY. It makes me sad to see sisters walking around toting their Bible, but looking a raggedy mess. I also understand our comfortable days(you don't have to look like you just stepped out of Vogue everyday) but make an effort to look presentable the best way you can. We are a representation of Christ and I know you all are sweethearts deep down inside, but unfortunately our human eyes see the outward appearance first, and not that precious little heart of yours. Looking good makes you feel confident, and we are ALL beautiful, perfectly crafted in the hands of God. Some of us unfortunately just haven't realized it yet.

For those of you who been praying for a husband, I'm about to get on you worse. C'mon girl, are you serious? Stop fooling yourself thinking, "Well God gonna make him see me for who I am inside" sorry baby, but NO! If you hadn't noticed in the Bible almost everytime a man is going to marry a woman they talk about how she LOOKS.... Don't believe me? read Esther 2:7-9 , Ruth 3:3, Genesis 29:17 just to name a few. Again, we are ALL beautiful, and I use these examples to illustrate that you have to take care of yourself as a woman and look your best. Remember not every guy likes the same thing, and your unique beauty (well maintained) will catch that right man's attention. If the barn needs painting, slap some paint on it (don't over do it), if you're thick and faboulous wear it well, but make sure you are healthy, and if your hair needs a little help, buy some gel and a ponytail weave and slap it in there.



Overall make sure when you step in the room you make a statement, (like the Jergens commerical) don't say "I am here, but say HERE I AM" .......just a word of advice

Missionary Relationships...Girl, You Know Better Than That!

There are probably a few of you saying "No don't go there!" or "stay out my business, you don't know how hard it is to find a man", WELL HONEY I DO. Before I was engaged, I was single for so long, I'm embarassed to tell you. I wasn't single because of lack of gentlemen interest, but because I was determined that I was going to marry a man of God. As I explained in one of my earlier articles "Singleness is not a Sickness or Disease" a Man-of-God is a man who not only attends church, and totes around a bible every now and then, but it is a man who is totally devoted to God, and who's life demonstrates that "he got some Jesus in him". Don't know what a missionary relationship is? It's when you, a saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, FIRE baptized, woman of God finds yourself in a relationship with a man who only says "Jesus" when he's cussin'. Like I say in most of my articles, I'm never here to point the finger, the reason why I write these articles are from most of the mistakes I've made.

Can I ask a question that I've asked myself many times before? If you love God as much as you say you do, and He is first in your life, how can you connect yourself to someone who doesn't revere your God as anyone of great importance? And please don't think that you are so super deep that you can somehow pretend to be the Holy Spirit and save him. I will definitely witness to an unsaved guy, but I am NOT going to be in a relationship with you homie, SORRY!

Now, for those of you patting yourself on the back because your man says "Yeah girl, I believe in God" ummm, Demons believe in God too (Imjussayin'). The question is, does he obey God? To be quite honest, this one is a little hard to tell because some people can put up a good front when they are around you. In this instance you really have to ask the Lord for discernment. I remember when I used to tell guys I'm saved, they would say "yah girl me too" I would say, "oh ok, what church do you go to".......silence.....silence..."Well see I'm between churchs right now...I go to my grandmomma church sometimes....its called um...something with 'church' in it" . Now before you accuse me of JUDGING, he may be just as saved and going to heaven like me, but that doesn't mean we are equally yolked. His level of spiritual maturity may not match mine, which can cause major discord. Some examples of where it can become a problem in your relationship is when there are major decision that need spiritual guidance, or when he curses you out and feels no conviction, and in the case that you're not married he doesn't understand why or respect the fact that you won't sleep with him. Since he has no one to answer to he makes the rules of his own behavior. He also may not fully understand or care about the Godly principles of being a husband, and how to treat you as his wife. He is YOUR LEADER, and if your leader doesn't allow God to lead him, that spells trouble! Let me just make it clear though that I know women and men who have gotten saved after they were married and their partner didn't. According to the bible it is not grounds for divorce, so keep praying for them!

The bottom line that we all need to understand is DON'T GET ON ANYBODY'S SHIP (MAN) UNLESS JESUS IS THE CAPTAIN. Also, be patient and enjoy your life, God knows the desire of your heart. Ladies please keep your eyes open! Sometimes that man of God is sitting right in front of your face and you're too busy looking at "Mr.Smooth 'n' Cool" who has NO interest in you, that you fail to see your blessing......Just a word of advice

Ladies, Are You a Rental Property or An Estate?

Lately, I've been hearing a lot of talk about "friends with benefits" and "open relationships". To me, this really sounds like a clever way for guys to get your "goodies" with no commitment. Now don't take offence that I used to the word rental "property", ( I know that we are nobody's property but God's) this is just a way that I use to express the relationship between men and women.


Stop and think about the difference between renting and owning a home. When you allow people to rent, there is no commitment, people can come and go as they please using all the benefits of the home without putting any real investment into it. Most of the time it's up to the landlord(which is you) to maintain and keep up the property, to fix whatever is broken, and clean up after the tenant has moved out and left your place a mess. These "rental" relationships often are the same way  as we allow men to have full access to our property(sex) without any real commitment, giving them the freedom to pay month to month and leave when they find a better place to live. Break-ups like rental properties often leave you a mess inside, and depending on how bad it is, it may take you months to repair the damage that has been done.



Owning a home is much different. It takes commitment and sacrifice. For those who work average jobs, saving up a 20% downpayment on a $500,000 dollar property is nothing light. When a man owns a home he invest in it, he makes sure the outside of the house is presentable and the inside has beautiful furnishings that make it comfortable. He also plants SEEDS for flowers, and stays around to nourish them and make sure they grow beautifully. This house is a representation of him, and he has to make sure it is well taken care of and protected. When he is looking to BUY a home he doesn't just take whatever is available, but he takes careful time looking for a suitable house to live in. When he buys that house, he is commited to staying there long term because of the INVESTMENT he put into it. That house (depending on what he is looking for) has all the amenities that will help him live a more enjoyable life.



I am not for rent. This property is for sale, and if you are not looking to buy, don't knock on my door. Just know that if you are planning to buy I will make sure to protect you from the rain, keep you warm when you are cold, and I have all the amenities to make sure that you are well fed and have a peaceful place to lay your head at night. In order to get the keys to this house you must come with a shiny round downpayment, and sign the contract when I have accepted your offer and closed the deal.......




So ladies I ask again, are you a rental property or an estate? If you decide that you don't mind renting, by all means it is your personal decision, but please stay out of my neighborhood......your bringing down my property value......just a word of advice.

Please Pour Out Your Lil' Cup of HATERADE!

Can we all get along, PLEASE! Women, you know that sometimes we are the worst one's when it comes to straight HATIN'. I find the one's that "hate" the most are the one's always talkin' bout people hating on them, "sorry, AINT NOBODY THANKIN' BOUT YOU BOO". I might have haters, I might not, but I don't care because I'm not thinking about them. For those of you who don't know, "hatin'" is slang for jealousy, and it happens all too often especially among females. I'm guilty of it myself. Sometimes I do it unconciously, and I might make a criticism of another female, and think "well I'm just sayin what it is, I'm not hatin'" but the truth is YES I AM. My Sunday school Teacher (Shout out to Evangelist Selandra) taught us that Jelousy is a result of your fear that somebody is going to somehow take something from you, or get something you want, and envy is when that person has already got something you want, and you wish it was you. This behaviour is TOXIC. Often times we get so occupied with looking over the fence at someone else's yard, we fail to see the beautiful daisies God planted in our yard. You're STOMPING all over your own flowers just to get a better look at theirs.

The first step in pouring out your cup of hatorade, is admitting you have one. I know we ALL think we are perfect, and could care less about others, but some of us have developed a mean "I'm better than you" or "I'm not jealous 'cause everybody wants to be like me" spirit as a defense mechanism, which actually is fueled by jealousy. The second step is learning how to sincerely rejoice with others in their victories and successes. YOU DON'T KNOW what that person had to go through, or what they are currently going through to get to where they are or have what they have. Recognize that we are not all blessed in the same way. God may give one person a big mansion on the hill, and you a small apartment in the hood, but you may have a strong close family unit, and that person may struggle with loneliness or a disfunctional family. This is not to say that this is always the case, some people have great things, and are genuinely perfectly happy, so don't try to convince yourself that there must be something wrong in their life just to make yourself feel better. Just remember that your blessing will come too, even if it doesn't look like theirs. God has a blessings box for all of us, but hatin' on others only destroys what it is that God is trying to give YOU.


Practice saying a kind word to someone else today, even to your enemies. It's ok to say to another female "I love your dress" or "girl, that's a fly ride!" (sincerely too, don't lie and say its fly when you know it's a raggedy mess, which is another form of jealousy). Lets be kind to each other, pour out our cup of haterade and fill it with a glass of champagne to toast to another persons victory!....just a word of advice.

Bus' Satan in His Mouth!!!

In the past few months God has been working in me to deliver me from this terrible spirit called worry. When I graduated from College in 2007, the spirit of worry gripped my heart so badly that I couldn't even sleep at night. I worried about money, where I was going to live, where I would work, who I would marry, and a whole bunch of other nonsense. The Devil kept talking over my shoulder saying, "You're not going to make it, your a failure, what you gonna do?" I calmly responded, "Well, the first thing I'ma do is bust you in your mouth so you can shut up talking to me, and the next thing I'm gonna do is open my Bible to Romans 8:28 where it says 'All things work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose". Well, it's been 2 years since then, and guess what? I have a place to live, money in my pocket, food in my stomach and I'm JUST FINE. I know it's easier said than done right? but if you really stop and think about it and realize that if you are in God's care, what do you think he is really going to do to you? Granted, there are some situations that are unfavorable and may bring you some discomfort, but know that He is only shaping you for the future.

I've learned to be a giver, and that is probably the best decision I have ever made in my life. In the past month I have been receiving checks out of nowhere, with no real explanation. I realized that God is NOT playing when He said, give and it will be given unto you good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over. Some of us complain about putting $5 dollars in the offering plate, but have no problem giving Puff Daddy or any other of these music artist more of our money for their CD's, just so they can make a video basically saying, "I got a Bentley and you don't". In this time of recession why do I see so many CHRISTIANS worried about it? God has BEEN taking care of us. Do you think He is going to stop and say, "Aww man its a recession? sorry my children I'm broke".

A few months ago I was worried about my job because they were making some cuts. My boss was really breathing down my neck, and I couldn't sleep; had my nerves all jacked up. Then I said to myself, "I'm not losing sleep for ANYBODY!" I realized that Power belongs to GOD, and Him only. Stop kicking yourself when you make mistakes because guess what? your boss may not tell you but THEY MAKE MISTAKES TOO (Ya, it's the weirdest thing I know, to find out that people you work with are human too). Stop worrying saying "oh man, people are getting laid off".... AND? If you know you come in to work and do the best job that you can, then I wish them negroes would fire me. Don't you know God will just give you a better job?

Finally, I just want to encourage you to STOP putting power in other peoples hands. When you wake up in the morning, send a prayer up to the Lord and do the best you can, and when Satan starts talkin' junk to you, turn around and BUSS' HIM IN HIS MOUTH!" .....Just a word of advice

Night and Day: The Conflict of Complexion Among Black Women

What I call "complexion racism" is an age old problem that I wish would just go away. It is the belief that somehow light complexion black women are more beautiful, or enjoy a better life than dark skinned black women. The reason why I used the term "black women" is because this is not only a problem among African Americans, but of women of African decent around the world. How is it that a young girl, barely old enough to read can think she is ugly because her skin is dark? Simple, the first place that most of us are educated and given a world view is in the home. My grandmother was scorned as a child; hated for her dark complexion. She once told me that they would say "if your light, you're alright. If you're brown, stick around. If you're black, go back!" HOW AWFUL IS THAT! As if when God created you he struck you with this dark complexion as a punishment. Instead of fighting against this terrible idea of complexion, she accepted it, and in turn passed it down to the generation after her the idea that the lighter you are, the better chances in life you get.

As a child, I struggled with my complexion. I believed I was beautiful, but it became very clear early on that the guys in my neighborhood and at my church were not too fond of dark complexion females. For me, some guys gave me a "pass" because I was considered a "brownin'" which I suppose was acceptable. I didn't realize at that time that I was participating in my own self-hatred by bleaching my skin to remain as they call it, a "brownin". I was so obsessed with my skin color that I created a LIE in my mind that guys would like me more if I was lighter. Though I would act as though I was so "pro-black" and "down for the movement", I was subconciously as ignorant as they were (don't judge me for bleaching my skin, Fair & White, Palmers and Fashion Fair's Vantex wouldn't still be in business if thousands, if not millions of black women were not using it.).


On the other side of it, many light complexion black people also feel the affects of complexion racism. People of a lighter complexion sometimes struggle with not being accepted as a "real" black person, and find it hard to identify with their own race. depending on their facial features and grade of hair they sometimes are mistaken for another race and teased with name calling like "light bright" or "house nigga".



At the end of the day, it all starts with loving yourself, no matter how light or how dark you are. God didn't make a mistake on you, He didn't say "oops, left that one in the oven too long, or oops that one didn't stay in long enough" He made you a BEAUTIFUL masterpiece. I have seen plenty of dark skined women that are married to HANDSOME men (Michelle Obama) and are successful. I have also seen plenty of light complexion women (Rosa Parks) who have also changed this world for the better. The reason why you may not get any "love" is not because of your complexion, it is because you have convinced yourself that nobody will love you, and you are the source of your own hatred.



I challenge you today, to look yourself in the mirror and I don't care what color your are, how big or small your nose is, how full or thin your lips may be, tell yourself "I am so beautiful, I am the princess of the most High God. I love me and He loves me too".....just a word of advice.

A Cure for Some of Life's Worst Heartaches (in relationships)

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Most of you are probably not going to like what I'm going to say, heck, I sometimes don't want to like what I'm going to say, but if you truly want to be free from the wrong that people have done to you, keep reading....

Some of us have been hurt, heartbroken and betrayed by a variety of relationships in our lives, whether its a friendship relationship, romantic relationship or family relationship, someone at some point in our lives has done something to hurt us. I know you may be secretly hoping that I will say "take revenge, pour sugar in his/her tank, key their car or cut them off and never speak to them again" but the cure for some of your WORST heartaches and even light ones, is using the "F" word, yes you guessed it Forgiveness.

When I was in college my first roommate and I did NOT get along (to say the least). One day all that anger built up inside boiled over, and turned out in an ALL OUT BRAWL. We were heated, ugly words that I wish I had never said were exchanged, and she threatened to press charges on me(anyone who knows me, knows I'm a lover not a fighter). Eventually, I decided to move out and after that (even though we were in the same choir) we wouldn't say two words to each other. Being a Christian, I was convicted. I felt like it was hypocritical of me to be singing all these worship songs and have a beef with somebody. I realized that out of ALL the things that I did in my life that seemed embarassingly terrible, God still forgave me and loved me. She also, rededicated her life to the Lord a few weeks after our fight, and even though we weren't the best of friends at first, we decided to be cordial to each other. Soon, it went from "hi" to "hey how are you" and then to hanging out everyday and going to the gym together. Not only did we forgive each other, but she asked me to be her maid-of-honor in her wedding! Though after I graduated we lost touch, I still consider her a dear friend. and its an example of the power of forgiveness.


This story is not to say that everyone you forgive is meant to be your very best friend, but there are some things in life you just have to let go of, not for their sake, but for yours. The freedom you have when you are able to let things go is EXTRORDINARY. I know it is not easy, some of you are victims of abuse and other horrible things that were much worse than my situation, but you know what happens when you hold on to that stuff? it ruines YOUR life, and the person that did you wrong gets to enjoy the fulness of life not even thinking about you. DONT LET THEM HAVE THE SATISFACTION. This has yet to be proven, but I believe forgiveness will lead to a longer, happier life.

My father and mother's marriage unfortunately ended on the brink of my teenage-hood, a time where a female needs male guidance the most. This unfortunate occurance could have ruined me, causing me to become the unfortunate stereotype of the young fatherless female. I chose not to feel sorry for myself or start singing the "woe is me" song. God said He would be the father to the fatherless, and I decided to take Him up on His offer. Years ago, I was mad at my father, but I chose to forgive and allow myself not to be trapped in the dungeon of unforgiveness.

Even in spousal relationships, I believe unforgiveness is the biggest cause of divorce. For some reason in a romantic relationship we always forget that we are just as imperfect as the other person (in some cases it leans heavy on one side, but lets not go there for now). As much as you want someone to let go of some terrible thing you did, have mercy and return the favor, even if it's not reciprocated.



Make an effort to forgive, and understand that it is not always an overnight thing, but at least you can start the healing process for a broken heart......just a word of advice

Speak LIFE Into Your Future

I am a firm believer in the power of words, and it's not because I read or watched "the Secret" and got some new revelation, it's because it was in the Bible way before they came out with that bootleg movie. I know the Bible says "Life and Death are in the power of the tongue" and I also recognize that this very earth was created by the words that came out of the mouth of God. I say that to say, be mindful of the things that come out of your mouth, even the most innocent things. Along with speaking life is also believing what you are saying! For example, I try my best not to say "I am broke" but rather "I am in financial transition". In accordance to being mindful of your words, the Bible also says "write the vision and make it plain". Sometimes you need a visual to remind you of your goals. Goal setting is one of the most important things to do in life, and often we fail to do it. It's like trying to take a trip somewhere you've never been with no roadmap/GPS or directions. I personally have what I call a "vision board", and do you want to know something? Most of the things that I put on there have already happened. Way back when I was single, I had a picture of a husband and wife, and a wedding ring (along with my collage of other pictures) two years later, I'm engaged!(not because I'm some psycho chick obsessed with weddings). God opened the door in his own timing. I challenge you to make a dream board, without restrictions, and dream BIG even if you can't see HOW it would ever happen. Always speak words of success into your future.....just a word of advice

Before We Beat Down the Brotha's

For years black women have had to be the mother and father for our children, we have had to be provider, doctor, counsellor, teacher and whatever else people needed us to be. The majority of our duties are a result of the absece of men in our lives. I know, I know, you are young and independent and you "don't NEED anybody to take care of you", but if we get real, having someone to come home to at night, someone else to help cover bills, a person to talk to, to love and be loved by, isn't such a bad thing. I sometimes hear women say to their children "Your daddy aint no good" or "your father is a low life, deadbeat", but truth be told, your child didn't make the decision to connect their lives to him, YOU DID.

Though black men need to step up and take care of their children and be involved fathers and husbands, we as women need to own up to the fact that we are partly to blame for them that don't. Granted, sometimes the people we meet seem WONDERFUL at the begining, and turn out to be the devil reincarnate, but sometimes ladies, we walk right into it. In the few times I indulge in reality TV I see girls on talk shows talking about how much of a dog and coward their baby fathers are. Can I ask you something? Why did you think Ray Ray who stays with his momma, has barely a high school education, and stays in and out of prison was going to be a good father to your child? Ladies seriously! As cute as he is, and as smooth as he talks, please muster up the strength to walk away! The reason that so many African American children are growing up fatherless is not just because black men are not taking care of their responsibility, it is also because as black women we are making choices that almost guarantee that our children will grow up that way. I don't care if you live in Mr. Rogers neighborhood or in the depths of South Central L.A., make a decision that essentially will make your life easier. Get yourself educated, make a man not only work hard to get with you, but don't give it up until you have the honor of being called Mrs.______. I have never had a baby, but it does NOT look like a walk in the park, and for you to go through all that agony and pain just to be called his "baby momma"? And if you have already had a baby by a man you're not married to, this is not to beat you down, just make sure that you hold a new standard for yourself and start back on a new path.

Ladies, lets take the lead in improving our family lives in the African American household, lets strive to be wives and not "wifey's", lets desire better for ourselves and our children......just a word of advice.

To All My Single Ladies (For the Record singleness is not a sickness or disease)

(Written in my single days, Jan. 9th, 2009)

There is an unfortunate stereotype that has been attached to being single that I hope in this article I will be able to correct. As a single young lady I've noticed that when I tell people that I am single they look at me like "I'm so sorry" or "I'm praying for you" as if I just told them I have leprosy or some kind of terminal disease. Actually, to be quite honest most single people walk around like they have leprosy or some disease and wonder why nobody wants to talk to them! Let me make it clear that I do want to be married, and I will be eventually, not because I'm looking for someone to love me, but becauses I know I have a promise from a father who loves me already. I'm not a marriage expert but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that marriages these days are failing miserably inside and outside the church. Also, if you hadn't noticed the way "Christians" and unsaved people live their lives "these days", it's not much different INSIDE and OUTSIDE the church. It puzzles me how we as humans will make the same mistake over and over again and expect different results. If you eat salt, guess what?...Whether you're a Christian or not its going to taste like SALT. In other words, if you commit sin, you will often face the same results of your choices as someone who is not saved. We have to live according to the Bible as Christians if we want a fighting chance.

Back to the subject at hand. As a single person I understand that this is my time to shine. It doesn't mean that I walk around looking a hot mess, and being mean to every guy that approaches me. It means that I really don't care if you like me or not, if you like girls who wear make-up or not, if you like big booties, long hair, short hair, tall girls, short girls, light skinned, dark skinned, fat or skinny I am going to be the best woman that I can be and be fine because I say so, not because of your opinion. Don't confuse this with conceit; this is confidence in who I am in Christ. It may take longer for me to be with someone( I admit), and I may have to wait a while, but I'm willing to take that risk on Jesus then on a man that is half steppin' with his Christianity. I don't date Christian Men, I date Men of God, and ladies that's a man who's total devotion is to the Lord Jesus Christ. I hear people say "the way a man treats his momma is how he'll treat you"....That's a lie! I know plenty of men who treat their momma's good and still treat their women bad. I personally judge this way "The way a man treats GOD is how he will treat you". Does he spend time with God(reading his word and praying)? Is he faithful to Him(attending church and participating)?Does He have respect for God(care about what God thinks of his lifestyle and consult Him when he makes choices)? Does He praise God and show God his affection?
 Finally, I just want to say to all those who are single to ENJOY your life. Discover who you are and learn to love it. Understatnd that you can't make anyone live up to any standard that YOU can't keep yourseslf. Know that God know's the desire of you're heart, but He is not going to drop anyone in your lap. Socialize and have fun but always make God first. Always be the most beautiful person you can be inside and out. For the record, singleness is not a sickness or disease but a spiritual growth period to help you become the best you that YOU can be.